The Man with Many Faces…

Sounds a bit like a great song title, doesn’t it? But increasingly I feel like I have too many personas.

Over the years, I’ve not put much theology or much about Church or Christianity at all in my blog – I even thought of creating a separate blog for such musings; a personal and fun one, and a serious theological one. Actually, such is the impact of God on my life, my everyday thought patterns naturally have my relationship with God splattered all over them.

This week I have been strongly reminded that my confidence should be who God says I am. Looking at scripture, the stand out things is that I am a son of God, and as such am an heir. This should give me increasing confidence in who I am – chosen by the King of kings!

I’ve noticed recently that I am a lot of different people in a lot of different settings. At work, I am quiet, secluded, timid, lacking in confidence because I feel that people will judge my character by how I perform my job – a job in which I still feel I’m finding my feet in despite being here for 2.5 years now. I’m the quiet boy who gets on with his work, who stutters and mumbles and panics and goes red when those in authority ask me questions. At home I’m comfortable and relaxed and feel like I’m the “real Phil” – being around Liz is being in a comfortable environment because I know I can screw up and she’ll still love me and be for me. At leaders meetings at church I’m often quiet, because I’m all too aware that there are many in the room of have a deeper biblical knowledge than I. On the football pitch I am full of confidence, a joker and (I like to think) fun to play with because, actually, I think sport is a strength and this is reflected in my attitude. Around my in-laws I’m quiet, wouldn’t say boo to a ghost, polite because I still feel like I’m trying to make a good impression and come from a completely different culture.

In short, I put on a face dependant on where my comfort zone and confidence is in that particular scenario. They overlap, too. At work, if I’m comparing baby stories, I’m me, because I know about that!

My aim is to have this approach no longer – I am who God says I am, and that’s more than enough for me!!!