Open Letters...

Dear Son…

We’re ready for you to come out now! Your room is decorated, you have a nice cozy place to sleep and a whole room to yourself if you so desire. The finishing touches have been put into place, so now we need a baby to come and occupy our lives, we have been waiting almost 10 months you know!

If I can meet you soon I would be most grateful.

Yours forever,
Dad


Dear World Cup,

I knew I was right to keep faith in you. I told you that the second round of games are now must win and will get more exciting. You’re welcome. Thank you for offering football for a whole month, right now, you’re one of my favourites.

Thank you also for scheduling my three countries to play today. The German quarter of me will be cheering at 12.30pm, the American side (which I know, I technically haven’t got one… but have fairly significant ties) will be vuvuzelaing at 3.00pm and the English ¾’s going crazy come 7.30. What a day.

Yours for a month more,
Phil

Dear world,

We will tell you when the baby comes… no need to keep asking! The standard response to “any signs yet” will continue to be “have you heard anything??”

Thanks,
Mean Old Man


Dear Freebie Friday,

Thank you for putting your leftover sandwiches out in the canteen at 2 o’clock… double lunch is unnecessary, but I’ll take it. Every week.

Never hungry on Fridays,
Phil